Five things to do this weekend, July 17
By Alex Neth 
| July 17, 2009 | 5:01 AM
Tavern wenches Iris 'n Rose are among the performers at the Colorado Renaissance Festival. (Photo by Colorado Renaissance Festival)
Another summer weekend, another set of agonizing choices about what to do, where to go . . . OK — perhaps not agonizing. That might be taking things a tad far. After all, what’s so tough about choosing between live music and the movies? Between a night out or a day in the sun? Between tassels and turkey legs?
Heck, why choose at all? Get your beauty sleep, because you’ll need it if you want to make it to all five of these things to do this weekend.
1. Global Dance Festival: Befitting Denver’s status as one of the world’s top destinations for electronic and dance music — just call us Ibiza of the Rockies — the Global Dance Fest boasts a lineup that will charge even the most jaded club veteran. Headliners Sasha and John Digweed are widely considered some of the biggest dance music stars in the world and will draw the crowds, but don’t miss out on sets by some of the Mile High City’s best turntablists, including Kostas, Dragon and Trajikk. We have a feeling that John Brisben Walker, who put on Red Rocks’ first musical performance in 1906, didn’t imagine the place ever hosting such an event; but then, we have a feeling he also didn’t imagine the existence of a world without minstrel shows and polio.
- When: 5 p.m. Saturday
- Where: Red Rocks Amphitheatre
- Cost: $150
- Information: livenation.com
2. The Shark is Still Working: The Legacy and Impact of Jaws: We’re not gonna lie: Jaws changed our lives. After we saw that movie for the first time, we developed an unhealthy obsession with sharks that went on for several years. And by several years, we mean until we discovered girls and beer, so, like, maybe 29. Given the production of this documentary film, we were clearly not alone in that. Grab a (sadly, less than comfortable) seat at the Starz FilmCenter and take a look back at the influence of Steven Spielberg’s first big movie, the one that set the stage for every over-the-top blockbuster to come and that the American Film Institute ranks as the second-best thriller of all time, after Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho.
- When: 7 p.m. today and Saturday, 3 p.m. Sunday
- Where: Starz FilmCenter, 900 Auraria Parkway
- Cost: $9.50 general admission tonight and Saturday, $7.50 GA Sunday
- Information: denverfilm.org
3. Colorado Renaissance Festival: After all these years, all those plunging bodices, all that fake jousting, all those steak-on-a-stakes, it’s hard to come up with a new way to make fun of the Ren Fest. So we won’t even bother. We just don’t have it in us anymore. You’ll have to go elsewhere if you want to read someone mocking the community theater enthusiasts and their attempts at 16th century British accents, the festivarians who last showered in 1995 or the 5-mile hike from car to gate. Sorry. (Dear event organizers: Please, no angry e-mails. You know we love you. Even if you do think that Johnny Depp impersonators somehow fit the theme.)
- When: 10 a.m.-6:30 p.m. Saturday & Sunday, through Aug. 2
- Where: Perry Park, Larkspur
- Cost: $17.95, $8 for kids 5 and under, free for kids under 5
- Information: coloradorenaissance.com
4. Conquer and Curse Tour: So, not feeling like jumping on those last tickets for the Global Dance Fest? Not your scene? Not quite . . . heavy enough? Then you, your 4-foot-long beard and your old Slayer T-shirt need to get to Larimer Lounge this Sunday for Conquer and Curse, a metalstravaganza featuring such terrifyingly titled acts as Bohemian Grave, Endless Yeti, Drive-In Massacre and To Be Eaten. If your eardrums survive the assault, consider it a bonus.
- When: Doors at 1 p.m. Sunday
- Where: Larimer Lounge, 2721 Larimer St.
- Cost: $13.50
- Information: larimerlounge.com
5. Midnite Martini’s Ladies of the ’80s Burlesque Revue: If there’s one thing Denver has more of than Applebee’s franchises and dudes in cargo shorts wearing baseball caps sideways, it would be burlesque shows. And that, friends, should truly be a source of civic pride. Join Midnite Martini as she — and the other performers who call Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret their professional home — takes a shimmy through the age of parachute pants, the Thompson Twins and New Coke. You’ll want to go out afterward and buy three cans of Aqua-Net.
- When: 8 p.m. Friday & Saturday
- Where: Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret, 16th Street Mall at Arapahoe
- Cost: $30
- Information: lannies.com
colorado renaissance festival, conquer and curse tour, global dance festival, jaws, midnite martini, the shark is still working
